To Alleppey, Kerala Backwaters

Photos (best seen on a PC to see the annotations):

https://photos.app.goo.gl/q56M8gM6rNc5cwut9

As I plunge deeper into Kerala, mosquitos seem to be more prevalent. They are tiny, and make no sound at all, but pack a punch above their weight (like chillies here). Being so silent, I briefly wondered if they had electric motors?

Covered in bites, scratched until bleeding, I said to my guide:
“I hope there are no mosquito borne diseases around here?”
Guide: “Oh no, sir, it’s not a problem at all – have no concerns!”
At Vasco da Gama’s grave: “What did he die from?”
Guide: “Malaria.”
I am reassured.

Alleppey was listed in the top 5 UN Clean City list, with almost no biodegradable waste, from numerous biogas plants. Waste management here is a beacon of excellence. I visited a beach near here, which I would happily swim in. The roads are reasonably clean. Kerala was the first state to achieve 100% Primary education, and has the highest literacy rate of about 95%.

On the way to Alleppey, there were many Catholic penitents on a pilgrimage to a cathedral nearby (St Andrew’s), some in procession, with a flute and Indian drum band which sounded quite Bangla – very odd juxtaposition. There are old Portuguese churches everywhere here, and Catholicism is extremely obvious. Muslims are also quite obvious from the frequent calls to prayer, although mosques seem well hidden. There is little evidence of Hinduism to the casual eye – they mind their own business.

I am staying on the Kerala backwaters at the beautiful Pamba Heritage Homestay, with host Rajeev, who used to be a software engineer at Accenture, on a thankfully breezy upstairs room with a balcony over the river (it’s quite hot – 32 – this is outside the Lithuanian comfort zone). Internet is pretty good. Vegan dinner delicious.

I went for a slow cruise in a Sikkhara boat along the backwaters.It was a supremely relaxing experience, seeing this world pass by, the people going about their lives.

It was so profoundly relaxing, I fell into a tranquil, deeply meditative state.

I’m sure I levitated.Then, just as I was about to achieve Nirvana, I fell into a deeply catatonic stupor.

I was only roused by an Indian TeleMarketing call asking for ‘Mr Bill Campbell’.

I mischievously replied: “Bill Campbell died quite horribly a while ago.”

TM: “I’m very sorry to hear that, sir.”

Me: ”It’s OK, I didn’t like him. One of the solar panels you sold him last time fell off the roof and killed him. Where did you get my number? It’s on the Do Not Call list.”

TM: “I don’t know, sir.”

Me: “Can you please remove this number from your lists?”

TM: “Yes, sir!”

He won’t. It is there for all eternity - no matter how many times I am reincarnated, the phone database will survive – no god, Hindu, Pagan, not even the hammer of Thor can destroy it – there are infinite backups.

The backwaters are truly lovely and peaceful. The river was quite clean as well. There was a welcome rain shower on the return, the sky was clearer, and the air smelled wonderful. Almost Paradise – just a little too hot. I briefly wondered ‘Who the hell was Bill Campbell?’.

I slept well after a lovely dinner, to be woken at 5:30 by a boat playing very loud syrupy Bollywood pop (a few days ago it was an Imam).